Have you ever caught yourself rolling your eyes at someone’s behavior or whispering a silent “I’d never do that” in your head? Yeah. Me too. That’s the spirit of judgment creeping in.
Let’s not sugarcoat it: the spirit of judgment is a reflex we’ve all had. It’s easy, it’s automatic, and let’s be real—sometimes it feels good in the moment. A little mental distance. A little ego boost. Scroll through any social media comment section and you’ll see it—judgment is everywhere.
But here’s the thing: the qualities we judge most harshly in others? They’re often reflections of what we’re unwilling to face within ourselves.
That’s not shame. That’s a mirror.
And I call it the spirit of judgment for a reason.
Because energetically, judgment carries a frequency—a vibrational pattern—that attaches itself to our thoughts, conversations, even our presence. It’s not just a momentary opinion; it becomes a spirit we embody, often without realizing it. Like many lower vibrational energies, judgment operates as a force that feeds off avoidance, superiority, and egoic illusion. Until we become aware of it, it runs the show.
Shadow work helps us recognize that spirit, name it, and release its grip. It’s about bringing what’s hidden into the light with compassion and radical honesty.
If you’re ready to stop projecting and start reflecting—if you’re ready to understand your reactions instead of being ruled by them—this is your invitation.
Let’s go there.
💭 Judgment Isn’t About Them — It’s About You
Judgment feels like control. It gives the ego a false sense of power — “I’m better,” “I’m more healed,” “I would never.”
But beneath the smugness, judgment is a mirror. It reflects something inside us: a wound, an insecurity, a part of ourselves we’ve disowned.
That’s called projection, and psychology’s known this game for a while.
🧠 Carl Jung’s Take:
Jung said, “Everything that irritates us about others can lead us to an understanding of ourselves.”
He called this the shadow self — the hidden, often disowned parts of our personality that we’ve pushed into the subconscious.
Maybe you suppress your emotional needs, then judge others for being “too needy.”
You were taught to be the “strong one,” so now you criticize vulnerability in others.
Maybe you pride yourself on being responsible and roll your eyes at someone’s chaos — but secretly, you long to loosen your grip.
The parts of ourselves we haven’t fully accepted show up as judgment toward others.
🧿 The Trendy Side of Shadow Work
Let’s go there.
Shadow work has become a trend — especially in spiritual spaces. You see it all over Instagram and TikTok: moon rituals, tarot spreads, “doing my shadow work” captions.
And listen, I’m not knocking ritual. I love a good intentional practice.
But shadow work isn’t aesthetic. We’re not just journaling by candlelight or buying the newest oracle deck.
It’s about looking dead in the face of the parts of yourself that make you uncomfortable — and not flinching.
Radical honesty.
It’s accountability without ego.
What I’ve found (especially in spiritual circles) is that we talk about shadow work more than we do it.
We bypass the uncomfortable truths by staying in our intellect. Or we dress up the spirit of judgment as “discernment” and call ourselves “healers” while side-eyeing everyone who isn’t “as evolved.”
But the real work? It’s not cute—it’s messy and humbling.
And most of all — it’s daily.
👁 The Spirit of Judgment: Control in Disguise
Let’s tell the truth — judgment doesn’t always scream. Usually it whispers.
Sometimes, it dresses itself up as “just having high standards.”
Sometimes it says, “I’m just observant.”
But what’s really happening is this:
We use judgment to manage discomfort. If I can critique you, I don’t have to feel vulnerable around you. If I can scan for your flaws, I don’t have to share mine. It’s not intimacy — it’s strategy.
Let’s break that down:
✋🏽 Judgment as “Standards”
True standards come from self-worth. They’re about your values and how you want to be treated.
But when they start to feel like measuring sticks you hold up to everyone else? That’s ego. That’s judgment, not discernment.
Discernment says: “This isn’t aligned for me.”
Judgment says: “They’re a mess and don’t deserve my energy.”
One sets a boundary. The other builds a wall.
👀 The Spirit of Judgment as “Observation”
“I’m just observant,” we say. But observation without empathy is just surveillance. You’re not connecting — you’re collecting data to protect yourself.
This isn’t spiritual discernment. It’s spiritual bypassing dressed up in awareness.
🪞 Shadow Work: Seeing the Mirror, Not the Mask
Shadow work is the process of becoming radically honest with ourselves. It asks:
- What am I disowning?
- What have I suppressed to survive?
- Where am I projecting instead of reflecting?
The shadow isn’t “bad” — it’s unintegrated. It’s the parts of you you’ve hidden because they weren’t accepted in your childhood, your relationships, or your environment.
But the more we deny it, the louder it screams — especially in how we view other people.
And let’s be clear — doing the work isn’t about checking off spiritual boxes. It’s about asking hard questions:
- Am I judging this person, or am I afraid to be like them?
- Am I using “healing” to avoid my humanity?
- Am I performing consciousness, or am I living it?
The real ones feel this. You know when you’ve skipped over the soul part and stayed in the surface layer.
🛑 Pause Before the Projection
The moment you catch yourself in judgment is gold. It’s a portal. A signal from your higher self saying, “Hey sis, this ain’t about them.”
Instead of spiraling into critique, try this:
🌀 Ask Yourself:
- What’s this judgment revealing about me?
- Am I feeling triggered because this trait lives in me too?
- Is this behavior reminding me of a wound I haven’t healed?
- Am I using this judgment to avoid vulnerability?
This moment of pause — that breath between reaction and reflection — is the space where radical accountability begins.
🧘🏾 Radical Accountability ≠ Shame
Let’s be clear: this isn’t about shaming yourself for judging.
It’s about reclaiming your power.
Shame says: “I’m bad. I’m a hypocrite.”
Accountability says: “I see myself clearly. Now I choose better.”
Radical accountability is sovereignty. It’s stepping out of emotional survival mode and into alignment.
It’s saying, “I take full responsibility for how I show up. Even the stuff I learned. Even the stuff I didn’t mean to do.”
🔄 Turning Judgment Into Connection
I used to think I was just being cautious in relationships — observing, assessing, keeping my distance when necessary. But truthfully? I was withholding. I was judging quietly in my head to avoid having to be emotionally exposed.
That’s how the spirit of judgment keeps us from intimacy.
People feel our energy. They may not hear the critique, but they feel the coldness, the withdrawal, the lack of safety. That disconnect? It shows up in our friendships, our dating lives, our family dynamics.
💡 Shadow work taught me:
• When I judge someone for being “too emotional,” it’s a call to honor my own suppressed feelings.
• When I judge someone’s inconsistency, it’s a reminder to look at my own fear of letting people down.
• When I judge someone’s neediness, it’s a mirror for the part of me that longs to be cared for — but is afraid to admit it.
The deeper I went, the more I realized that my judgments weren’t about other people’s behavior—they were about my own emotional wounds asking to be seen.
That awareness has softened me. It’s helped me show up more honestly, speak more gently, and hold space for others without abandoning myself.
And that shift didn’t happen by accident. It came from doing the work—real shadow work, not the kind that just sounds good in captions.
Let’s talk about that next. Because the more we choose compassion over critique, the more aligned our relationships—and our inner world—become.
🌱 Soul-Centered Practices: From Judgment to Harmony
Shadow work isn’t just about having breakthroughs in your journal or learning the language of healing. It’s about choosing to show up differently — every day — especially when it would be easier to fall back into old patterns. It’s daily work. Internal work. And sometimes, uncomfortable work.
Because let’s be real — we don’t just wake up one morning and stop judging people. That judgment is familiar. It’s wired into our survival strategies, passed down in our families, and reinforced in a culture that rewards control, perfection, and performance over vulnerability and truth.
But awareness is powerful. When you know better, you start choosing better — not perfectly, but more consciously.
Here are a few soul-centered practices that have helped me turn quiet judgment into conscious connection:
1. Journal through the trigger.
Instead of sitting in the swirl of critique, I ask: What is this really about?
Often, the moment I start writing, I realize I’m not angry at them — I’m uncomfortable with something rising in me. Triggers are mirrors. Journaling lets me slow down and look closely.
2. Name the old pattern.
I ask: Whose voice is this?
Many of my judgmental thoughts weren’t even mine — they were inherited. From people who believed love was conditional. From environments where emotional expression wasn’t safe. By naming the pattern, I reclaim my power to rewrite it.
3. Practice curiosity, not critique.
Instead of “What’s wrong with them?” I ask “What are they showing me?”
This shift from harshness to curiosity has changed everything. Curiosity opens the heart. It makes space for complexity, both in others and in myself.
4. Apologize energetically when needed.
I’ve learned to apologize — sometimes in words, but often in spirit. I apologize for:
-the coldness I didn’t mean to send.
-withholding warmth when I could’ve leaned in.
-the quiet ways I kept people at arm’s length while telling myself I was just “protecting my peace.”
That energy matters. And offering a silent “I see it now” creates space for reconnection — even if just within myself.
5. Pause before projecting.
That sacred moment between feeling triggered and choosing how to respond? That’s where transformation happens.
Now, I pause. I breathe. I ask, “Is this mine? Or am I making someone else carry something that belongs to me?”
And when I choose connection over control, presence over performance — that’s when healing begins. That pause? It’s where your power lives.
Each of these practices keeps me anchored. They bring me back to my heart when my ego wants to take the lead. They’re not about being a “better” person. They’re about being a truer one.
And the more I practice, the more I soften. The more I see clearly. The more I realize:
This isn’t about fixing myself.
It’s about facing myself.
🕊 When We Drop Judgment, We Find Freedom
Let’s keep going.
Because once you commit to walking in awareness — the question becomes: What happens when you start showing up from that awareness every day?
That’s where true freedom begins.
Let’s talk about what that looks like next.
At its root, judgment is fear.
Fear of being seen, being vulnerable, and losing control.
But when we let it go — when we stop needing to be right, to be above, to be guarded — we come home to ourselves.
And that’s where intimacy lives.
Your shadow isn’t your enemy. It’s your invitation.
Your judgments aren’t shameful. They’re insightful.
And your accountability? That’s your freedom.
🛎 Final Word: Clean the Mirror, Not the Reflection
You don’t need to fix other people. You need to understand yourself.
Because when the lens is clean, everything softens.
So next time you feel judgment rise in your chest — pause.
Turn inward.
Ask the deeper question.
And choose the higher road.
You’ll not only deepen your self-awareness, but create more meaningful, emotionally safe connections with the people you love.
That’s the power of shadow work. That’s the gift of radical accountability.
If this post hit home for you, grab my emotional healing ebook Watering You on Etsy.
It’s your guide to softening the judgment, integrating your shadow, and learning to show up with more grace and truth.
Let’s stop performing healing. Let’s embody it.
Stay gracious. Stay growing.💫
#SoulFoodSunday #ShadowWork #RadicalAccountability #SpiritualGrowth #JudgmentHealing #HealingJourney #WateringYou #SoftIsStrong #LifeLessons
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