Let’s talk about something we don’t talk about enough: therapy. If your first instinct is to roll your eyes or brush it off with “that’s just not for me,” you’re not alone. A lot of people feel that way—especially in the Black community. Although it has become a trending topic lately in social media, people remain resistant to getting the help they desperately need. Perhaps you believe therapy is only suitable for a specific demographic group. Maybe you’re afraid of being labeled as “crazy.” Or maybe you’re just not sure how sitting and talking to a stranger is supposed to help you with your very real, very overwhelming problems.

But here’s the thing: avoiding therapy doesn’t make those problems disappear. In fact, it often makes them worse. Your life might be spiraling out of control—your relationships might be falling apart, you might feel like you’re drowning in anxiety or anger, or you just can’t seem to set boundaries—and yet, you keep pushing through on your own, refusing to ask for help.

It doesn’t have to be that way. Seeking therapy is not a sign of weakness. It’s an act of self-care and strength. It’s choosing to stop surviving and start thriving. And if you’re still not convinced, let’s break it down.

Why People Resist Therapy

Let’s address the elephant in the room: a lot of us were raised to see therapy as unnecessary, or even shameful. Here are some reasons why people resist therapy and why this thinking needs to change.

“Therapy is for White people.”

This idea is rooted in historical and cultural experiences typically not beneficial for the Black community. For many of us, especially older generations, therapy wasn’t a thing we did. We leaned on family, friends, faith, or just “toughed it out.” Therapy was seen as a luxury for wealthy White people, not a necessity for everyday folks dealing with real-world problems.

But here’s the truth: today, therapy isn’t about race or privilege anymore—it’s about healing. Everyone deserves the tools to manage their mental health and grow into the best version of themselves. Therapy is for anyone who’s tired of carrying their pain alone. As a psychology student, I’m studying how the field is transforming to be more inclusive, empathetic, and competent to multicultural experiences. So no, therapy is not just for White people. Everyone can benefit from mental health care.

“I don’t want people to think I’m crazy.”

There’s still a lot of stigma around mental health, especially in non-White communities. Admitting you need help can feel like admitting there’s something “wrong” with you. And for some, not being viewed as or believing they’re perfect is unbearable. But here’s the reality: going to therapy doesn’t mean you’re broken or crazy. It means you’re human, imperfectly human. We all have struggles, and therapy is just one way to face them head-on.

Mental health professionals are trained extensively to help you narrow in on the root of your issues and offer suggestions to overcome them. Sure, you have family or friends that will listen, but you risk receiving biased, immature, or just plain bad advice. Also, going to a therapist doesn’t automatically mean you will be on medication because not all mental health professionals are authorized to prescribe. So, forget the idea of being crazy and get the help you need.

“I can handle it on my own.”

This one is huge! Many of us have been taught that asking for help is weak. We wear our struggles like a badge of honor, telling ourselves that if we can just push through, we’ll be fine. But let’s be real: how’s that working for you? If you’re constantly overwhelmed, exhausted, or unhappy, it’s time to admit that you might need some extra support—and that’s okay.

According to the National Institute of Mental Health, one in five adults in the United States lives with a mental illness. Imagine how many more adults are walking around undiagnosed. Even worse, imagine those who are diagnosed not following through with treatment or taking their meds. All because they may believe they can handle it on their own without therapy or meds. Again, how’s that working for you? If your life remains unstable or in chaos, then you are not handling your mental health issues effectively.

What Happens When We Avoid Therapy

Avoiding therapy doesn’t make life easier. In fact, it often makes things harder. Here are some common ways people’s lives spiral when they resist getting help:

• Toxic relationships: Staying in a relationship that drains you, breaks you, or disrespects you because you’re not sure how to leave or don’t think you deserve better.
• People-pleasing: Saying yes to everyone and everything, even when it’s costing you your peace and happiness, because you’re afraid of disappointing others.
• Poor boundaries: Letting people walk all over you or control your life because you don’t know how to say “no” or stand up for yourself.
• Uncontrolled emotions: Exploding in anger, sinking into depression, or feeling constant anxiety because you’ve bottled everything up for too long.

Sound familiar? The truth is, therapy can help with all of these things and much more. Therapy is not about changing who you are; it’s about guiding you towards a life that is more fulfilling, liberating, and empowering. A life that supports your goals, well-being, and authenticity.

How Therapy is a Form of Self-Care

We talk a lot about self-care these days, but it’s more than bubble baths and yoga. Real self-care is about doing the hard work to take care of your mind, body, and soul—and that includes therapy. Here’s how therapy can be a powerful form of self-care:

• Therapy helps you unpack your emotions. You ever feel like you’re carrying around a suitcase full of emotions you can’t even name? Therapy is where you get to unpack all that baggage before it manifests in unhealthy ways, such as illness. A good therapist will help you identify what you’re feeling, why you’re feeling it, and how to deal with it in a healthy way.
• Therapy gives you tools to navigate life’s challenges. Navigating life can be challenging. Relationships can be complex, and work often brings stress. And sometimes, it feels like everything is falling apart. Therapy gives you practical tools to handle these challenges—whether it’s learning how to set boundaries, manage stress, or communicate better with the people in your life.
• Therapy helps you see the bigger picture. When you’re in the middle of a crisis, it’s easy to feel like your world is ending. Therapy can help you take a step back and put things into perspective. It’s like having a GPS for your life, helping you figure out where you are, where you want to go, and how to get there.
• Therapy is your space to be honest. Let’s admit it: we don’t always share our true feelings with friends and family. Sometimes, we hide how we’re really feeling because we don’t want to burden them or feel judged. In therapy, you can be completely honest. It’s a judgment-free zone where your only job is to show up and be real.

The Benefits of Therapy

Still not convinced? Here are some specific ways therapy can change your life for the better.

For people in toxic relationships

If you’re in a relationship that’s draining you, therapy can help you understand why you’re staying and how to leave if that’s the best choice for you. It can also help you rebuild your self-esteem, so you can attract healthier relationships in the future.

For people-pleasers

If you’re constantly putting others’ needs before your own, therapy can help you learn how to say “no” without guilt. It can teach you that your needs matter, too, and that it’s okay to put yourself first sometimes.

For setting boundaries

Struggling with boundaries? Therapy can help you figure out what healthy boundaries look like and how to enforce them without feeling like a bad person or selfish. It’s about protecting your peace and teaching others how to treat you.

For healing past trauma

Childhood trauma is by far the most powerful force I have seen impact people and what I am healing from myself. Trauma sits in our subconscious and shapes how we think, behave, and take action. Whether it’s childhood trauma, a toxic ex, or anything in between, therapy is a safe space to process and heal. You don’t have to carry that pain forever.

For managing anxiety, depression, or stress

Therapy can help you identify what’s triggering your anxiety or depression and give you tools to cope. It’s not about getting rid of those feelings completely—it’s about learning how to manage them so they don’t control your life.

Why Therapy is Especially Important for the Black Community

We need to talk about this. For so long, mental health struggles in the Black community have been swept under the rug. But the truth is, we face unique challenges—from systemic racism to generational trauma—that make mental health care even more crucial. Therapy is a way to break the cycle, to heal not just for ourselves but for future generations.

Imagine a world where we normalize therapy in the Black community. Where we don’t just survive, but thrive. Where we prioritize our mental health as much as our physical health. That’s the world we deserve.

How to Get Started

So, you’re thinking about giving therapy a try—what now? Here are some steps to get started:

• Do your research. Look for therapists in your area or online. There are also directories like Therapy for Black Girls that specialize in connecting people with culturally competent therapists.
• Think about what you need. Are you looking for help with anxiety? Relationships? Trauma? Knowing what you want to work on can help you find the right fit.
• Explore your options. Therapy can be expensive, but there are affordable options out there, including sliding-scale fees, community clinics, and online platforms like BetterHelp. Check with your primary care manager for a referral first, as insurance may cover most of the costs.
• Be patient. Finding the right therapist can take time, and that’s okay. Don’t give up if the first person you meet isn’t a good fit. Don’t settle on any therapist; keep looking until you find the right one for you.

Your Mental Health Matters—Take the First Step

Here’s the bottom line: therapy is not a luxury or a last resort. It’s a tool—a powerful, life-changing tool—that everyone deserves access to. It’s a way to invest in yourself, to heal, to grow, and to build a life that feels good.

If you’ve been resisting therapy, ask yourself: why? And more importantly, what’s stopping you from giving it a try? Because you deserve to feel whole. You deserve to be happy. And you deserve to take care of yourself—not just for everyone else, but for you.

It’s time to break the stigma, let go of the excuses, and take that first step. The life you want is waiting on the other side. All you have to do is choose it. Don’t wait until you’re at your breaking point to ask for help. Take control of your mental health and reach out to a therapist today. You’ve got this. The journey to healing starts now.