A breakup—or divorce—can be tough. Whether it’s a short fling or a long-term relationship, there’s something uniquely challenging about the end of a romantic connection. For many women, the temptation to jump right back into the dating pool is strong, especially with the pressure to move on, not waste time, or even to try to make your ex jealous. But what if I told you that one of the best things you can do for yourself after a breakup is not to get on that dating app or arrange that next date? Forget that outdated idea of getting over one man by getting under another. You’re only kicking the can of disappointment down the road, because there would sure be more to come if you had that mindset.

Taking a hiatus from dating—and yes, that includes sex—can be a deeply empowering, healing experience, especially after a long-term relationship or a particularly difficult breakup. A hiatus is more than just licking your wounds or avoiding the fear of being alone. It’s about reclaiming your identity, rediscovering your inner strength, and making space for personal growth. I’ve been on hiatus for a year now, and in that time of doing the inner work, I have learned so much about myself and what I want in life as well as in a romantic connection moving forward. In this blog post, we’ll dive into why taking a break from dating and sex can be so transformative and the spiritual, mental, and emotional benefits that can emerge from hitting pause.

1. Emotional Detox

Breakups often leave us carrying emotional baggage—resentment, confusion, grief, maybe even a bit of anger. If we immediately jump into the next relationship or casual hookup, those unresolved feelings don’t magically disappear. Instead, they get stuffed down, where they can fester and influence new relationships in unhealthy ways.

By taking time off from dating, you’re allowing yourself to process the emotional storm inside you. And even though you may have detached emotionally as most women do, finally pulling the plug and calling it quits on a relationship can bring things up you thought you got over. You need the emotional detox. Just like our bodies need rest after a period of stress, so do our hearts and minds. Without this pause, we risk carrying the wounds from the past relationship into our future connections.

The benefits of an emotional detox include:

• Clarity. You’ll gain clarity on what really went wrong in the relationship and why it ended.
• Release. You’ll have the space to let go of residual pain, resentment, or attachment.
• Freedom. Emotional baggage no longer weighs you down or clouds your judgment in future relationships.

2. Rebuild Self-Esteem and Confidence

One of the most profound consequences of a tough breakup is often the hit it delivers to our self-esteem. You might find yourself questioning your worth, replaying mistakes in your head, or wondering if you’ll ever be enough for someone. A hiatus from dating is the perfect time to rebuild the relationship you have with yourself.

It’s easy to look for validation in others, but a break from romance gives you a unique opportunity to rediscover your inherent worth. Instead of relying on compliments, attention, or romantic gestures to feel good, you can learn to appreciate yourself independently. This is essential work, especially if you’ve come out of a relationship where you lost sight of your own individuality.

A hiatus can help your self-esteem and confidence by:

• Reaffirming Boundaries. Without the distractions of a new partner, you can get back in touch with your personal boundaries—what feels good and what doesn’t, emotionally and physically.
• Celebrating Solo Achievements. Accomplishing personal goals outside of romance boosts your confidence. Whether it’s finishing a book, starting a new hobby, or excelling at work, these achievements remind you of your strengths and capabilities.
• Boosting Body Positivity. If the breakup impacted the way you see yourself physically, time off from sexual activity can help you rediscover and embrace your body on your own terms. You’ll learn to not rely on outside validation to influence how you view your body.

3. Rediscover Who You Are Outside of a Relationship

In long-term relationships, it’s common for two people to become so intertwined that you start to lose sight of your individual identity. What do you like to do when your partner isn’t involved? Who are you when you’re not someone’s girlfriend or wife? A hiatus gives you the space to explore these questions without the influence of a partner.

Being single is a time of exploration and should be embraced, not feared or ashamed of. Societal expectations tend to shame women for being single and not being able to ‘hold onto a man’. Ignore that! Being single is the best time to pour into yourself completely. Without the constant influence of a romantic partner, you get to make decisions that are purely for you. What do you want from life? What hobbies, dreams, or passions might have taken a backseat while you were in that relationship?

Rediscovery is crucial for future relationships because it:

• Establishes a Solid Sense of Self. Knowing who you are ensures that you don’t lose yourself in the next relationship. A commitment to doing the inner work is critical for a solid sense of self to take root.
• Prioritizes Personal Goals. You’ll be more likely to pursue your dreams when you have a clear vision of what you want, independent of someone else’s ambitions. In the next relationship, you are less likely to allow your personal goals to take a back seat.
• Builds stronger boundaries. When you know yourself, you can confidently set boundaries that protect your well-being. Going into the next relationship from this position cultivates mutual respect and trust.

4. Gain Perspective on What Love Looks Like

If you’re constantly dating or diving into new relationships, it’s hard to step back and reflect on what you actually want from a partner. It’s easy to fall into patterns—dating the same type of person, settling for less than you deserve, or entering relationships that don’t align with your core values. Jumping quickly between relationships because you don’t know how to be alone only sets you up for more disappointment in future relationships.

A dating hiatus is a golden opportunity to reflect on the lessons from past relationships. Take the time to explore how you showed up in these past relationships and what changes you can make to improve yourself. What qualities do you truly value in a partner? What relationship dynamics don’t serve you anymore? This period of introspection can save you from repeating old mistakes and help you attract a partner who aligns with your authentic self.

Reflect on what you want in a relationship to:

• Break negative patterns. If you’ve noticed a pattern in your relationships—like dating emotionally unavailable people or always being the one to compromise—this time gives you the clarity to understand why you have these patterns and break free.
• Redefine Love. You might come to realize that your definition of love has changed, and that’s okay. Discovering how we’ve been conditioned to view love through society and media, then deprogramming from those views can be eye-opening. Your hiatus can be a time to redefine what healthy love looks like for you.
• Identify Non-Negotiables. When you’re not actively dating, you can clearly identify the qualities that are absolute musts in a future partner. If you have a history of settling in relationships and compromising your values, requiring standards in a future partner will help you make better choices.

5. Heal Your Relationship with Sex

Sex can be a beautiful and intimate expression of love, but it can also be complicated, especially after a breakup. For some women, using sex as a coping mechanism or a way to make up for an ex’s emotional absence. For others, it may feel like a painful reminder of the lost connection. Taking a break from sex can help you untangle the complex emotions you associate with intimacy.

During this time, you can rediscover your sexual needs on your terms, without the pressure or influence of a partner. It’s a chance to reconnect with your body, your desires, and your boundaries around sex. By the time you’re ready to re-engage in physical intimacy, you’ll do so from a place of self-love and empowerment.

A hiatus helps you heal your sexuality by:

• Having clearer boundaries. Without the influence of a partner, you can redefine what feels right for you when it comes to sex. You’ll be empowered to speak on what you like and don’t like sexually in future relationships.
• Exploring self-pleasure practices. This is a great time to explore self-pleasure and rediscover what brings you joy, free from external expectations. This is also a great time to explore and work on releasing any negativity or programmed thoughts surrounding self-pleasure.
• Breaking emotional ties. If sex was intertwined with emotional pain in your last relationship, a hiatus from sex allows you to reclaim sex as something positive and fulfilling. Through sex, people form mental bonds called ‘soul ties’ that can affect their health. Intentional healing, such as taking a hiatus, can be used to let them go. This process can be disrupted, however, if you jump too quickly into another relationship without doing this inner work.

6. Spiritual Growth and Deepen Your Relationship with Self

For many women, a breakup sparks a period of spiritual reflection. Whether you believe in a higher power, practice meditation, or simply engage in self-reflection, this time can become a powerful opportunity for spiritual growth. Without the distraction of a partner, you can focus on your spiritual life and define it on your terms. This goes a long way into understanding your values and establishing your boundaries for future relationships.

During a hiatus, many women report feeling more connected to their inner selves and to the world around them. With the distractions of dating and relationships set aside, you can dive deeper into your spiritual practices, whether that’s through journaling, meditation, yoga, or simply spending more time in nature. You might come out of this break with a stronger sense of purpose and a deeper connection to your true self.

Foster spiritual growth during a hiatus with:

• Meditation and mindfulness. Daily meditation can help you process emotions and reconnect with your inner peace.
• Journaling. Writing about your feelings and reflections is a great way to track your growth over time and tap into your spiritual side.
• Connecting to Nature. Spending time outdoors, especially in quiet, serene environments, can help you feel grounded and more connected to the world around you.
• Exploring Your Purpose. With time to reflect, you may find yourself asking deeper questions about your life’s purpose, leading to new discoveries and greater fulfillment.

7. Build a Stronger Support System

Breakups often reveal who in our lives truly supports us. While romantic relationships are important, they’re just one type of connection. Taking a break from dating gives you the space to strengthen other relationships—friends, family, coworkers—and to build a well-rounded support system that isn’t dependent on a romantic partner.

This time can also be a chance to meet new people who share your interests, join communities, and cultivate friendships that will support you in the long term. By building this network, you create a foundation of love and connection that’s independent of your relationship status and romantic life, ensuring you never rely on one person for all your emotional needs.

Benefits of strengthening your support system include:

• Diverse emotional support. By nurturing relationships outside of romance, you have multiple sources of love and support during challenging times.
• New Friendships. You can meet new people who introduce you to different perspectives and experiences, enriching your life in ways a romantic relationship might not.
• Stronger Connections. You’ll find that without the distractions of dating, you have more time and energy to invest in your existing friendships and family ties.

8. Prepare for a Healthy Future Relationship

Finally, one of the biggest benefits of taking a hiatus from dating and sex is that it prepares you for a future healthy relationship. When you take the time to heal, grow, and rediscover yourself, you’re setting the foundation for a relationship that’s built on mutual respect, emotional maturity, and shared values.

Instead of entering a new relationship from a place of loneliness or desperation, you’ll be coming from a place of strength and confidence. You’ll know what you want and deserve and how to communicate effectively. You’ll be emotionally available, present, and able to love without fear of repeating the past. We all want a romantic connection in our lives, but don’t make this the sole intent for taking a hiatus. Focus on your growth and healing, and the connection will come at the right time.

A hiatus prepares you for future love through:

• Emotional Healing. You’ll have worked through the pain of your past relationship, ensuring you’re not carrying old baggage into a new one.
• Self-Awareness. You’ll have a deeper understanding of your needs, boundaries, and desires, which leads to healthier relationships.
• Confidence. You’ll enter your next relationship with a sense of self-worth, knowing that you are enough on your own and that any partner is an addition to your already whole and fulfilling life.

Embrace the Hiatus

Taking a hiatus from dating and sex after a breakup isn’t about avoiding love or shutting down your heart. It’s about taking the time you need to heal, grow, and rediscover who you are outside of a romantic relationship. The benefits of this break are vast, from emotional clarity to spiritual growth, and they ultimately prepare you for the healthy, loving relationship you deserve in the future.

So, if you’ve just come out of a relationship—especially a long-term or challenging one—give yourself permission to take a pause. It’s not about how quickly you can move on, but about how deeply you can heal and reconnect with yourself. It’s not enough to just take a hiatus; you must do the inner work to experience these 8 benefits I’ve mentioned. Relationships reflect the value and worth we have for ourselves. The stronger and healthier your relationship with yourself, the stronger and healthier your future relationships are bound to be.